Throwing myself a pity party this morning, so decided to share my heart via blog…
Easter Sunday and my babes 5th birthday. Big day full of big fun…..then, the GI bug hits Abigail last night. ?
What should be a day of Church, family, celebration of so many things – my family is split up. Andrew with Benjamin and the birthday boy, me with a recovering Abigail trying to convince her that today is about Jesus not eater egg hunts and candy.
She knows, the reason for Easter. The death, the darkness and the light of today – but when you’re 8, there is still some disappointment in being sick on a holiday. I get it – I had tears as I watched my boys walk out this afternoon without us.
For church this morning, Instead of normal plans, we curled up in bed watching a live stream of a church service. For a moment I had wished someone could snap a picture so I could remember the moment forever. All three little heads surrounded around my little phone screen just engrossed in the pastor’s message which was perhaps way over all of their heads. Too much for them to comprehend now, but I’m convinced something spoke to their heart because I know this morning it was like I was meant to hear this message. In the midst of sickness and a day when MY plans didn’t happen – I tuned into a tele-service which resulted in my heart really being spoken too. The message was “it doesn’t end here”.
Speaking biblically of the death of Jesus and the placement in the tomb – NOT being the end. The darkness of that moment and the feeling of defeat – but it wasn’t the end. God came in during the time where it seemed nothing more could be done to bring light and rescued His son, His children, you, me. It wasn’t the end. It didn’t end there. It didn’t end at the grave.
I started reflecting on moments in my life where I feel darkness, I feel defeated, I feel forsaken and as if nothing could rescue me and my heart from the pain that has come, nothing could come rescue my heart from things that have happened, situations that are inevitable, where I’ve lost all hope. But, it doesn’t end here.
In that moment, while I was curled up in my bed with three little heads watching my iPhone, in the midst of plans not my own today and in my bummed out attitude of my control of today being stripped from me – I felt peace in my day – and in my life right now. It doesn’t end here. I will continue to hold on to God’s promises – His promise that in the total darkness where it feels like there is no hope – it’s NOT the end of our story. We have refuge and strength in Him.
Happy Easter. Whether you’re alone, with family – not spending the day with your new five year old Jackson for his birthday ….. Celebrate the promises and your story, thanks to God, that’s not yet over!